When Food is Love: Understanding the Cultural Food Challenge in Asian Families with Diabetes

Navigating the delicate balance between cultural food traditions and blood sugar management in Asian families

This month is National Nutrition Month, and the theme is “Food Connects Us.” This is particularly true for Asian Americans. I often say that food is the 6th love language for Asians. We show that we love and care for someone by preparing them food. We may cook an extra nice meal for someone to say we are sorry. Food is the center of most social and family gatherings among Asian households.

Eating healthy and figuring out what to eat is already difficult; this is particularly challenging when Asian meals are often served family style. Many of my clients find it difficult to estimate how much they have eaten. Adding the cultural nuance of “food is love” only makes it even more complicated.

During my 15 years as a Registered Dietitian serving the Asian American community, I’ve witnessed countless people with diabetes struggling to find that delicate balance between honoring their cultural food traditions and managing their blood sugar effectively. This balance is possible, though it requires understanding, strategy, and sometimes, a new perspective on how we express and receive love in our Asian families and social circles.

The Cultural Heart of Asian Meals 🫶

The Many Meanings of Food in Asian Culture

In Asian cultures, food represents far more than just nutrition. A grandmother spending hours preparing her grandchild’s favorite dish isn’t just cooking—she’s expressing her deepest affection. A mother insisting you eat more isn’t trying to sabotage your health goals—she’s showering you with love by nurturing and providing for you. Even among friends and colleagues, food sharing carries significant meaning.

Food in Asian cultures often symbolizes:

• Love and care: A way of showing care and concern by nourishing your body
• Healing and strength: Special soups and foods are prepared for improving health
• Community bonds: Shared meals reinforce family connections and friendships
• Connection to heritage: Traditional recipes maintain ties to family and ancestral roots
• Respect and honor: Serving special dishes to guests shows respect
• Prosperity and abundance: Full tables and symbolic foods represent well wishes for a prosperous and healthy life

For many of my clients, turning down food at family gatherings feels like rejecting these deeper meanings—like turning down love itself; sometimes may even feel like disrespectful. This creates an emotional complexity that goes far beyond simple nutritional choices.

Balancing Culture and Health: The Real Challenge 🤔

Many of my clients are stressed about family gatherings and social events. Some of them even avoid them at all cost.

Managing diabetes is not easy. It is confusing for many people about what to eat and what to limit. Family gatherings and social events are particularly stressful, as there is the need to balance both the diabetes nutrition aspect and the social aspect. Here are some of the struggles that people with diabetes often share:

Food-specific challenges:

• Hidden carbohydrates: Many Asian dishes contain less obvious sources of carbs in sauces, thickeners, and mixed ingredients (e.g., Chinese yam in soup, or stir-fried mixed vegetables with lotus root), making it challenging to estimate total carbohydrate intake
• Difficult portion estimation: With dishes shared at the table, it becomes challenging to track how much you’ve actually eaten
• Communal food selection: When sharing dishes, groups tend to choose foods that please everyone, making it difficult for one person to influence the menu
• Celebration food complexity: Social gatherings often feature special dishes that are richer and more indulgent than everyday meals, leading to feelings of conflict between enjoyment and health goals
• “Special diet” misconception: There’s often a belief that “diabetes food” is separate from “regular food”—creating an unnecessary divide

Social pressure and hierarchy:

• All eyes on your plate: The social pressure when everyone notices what you’re eating—or not eating—creates additional stress
• Family hierarchy: In many Asian cultures, respecting elders’ wishes can take precedence over personal preferences – it’s difficult to say no when they offer you more food

Health privacy and communication:

• Diabetes in disguise: Direct health discussions may feel uncomfortable or inappropriate at the dining table. Some may choose to “hide” their diabetes to avoid conversation about their change in food choices
• Family health scrutiny: In collective Asian cultures, one person’s health condition often becomes “family business,” with everyone offering opinions and monitoring food choices. Many prefer to keep their diabetes private rather than having their eating habits become a topic of family-wide discussion and scrutiny
• Unsolicited advice and judgment: Once diabetes becomes known, the challenges multiply—from traditional remedies pushed by elders to food policing with questions like “Should you really eat that?” or “Why are you eating that?” Family members often monitor and comment on every food choice, questioning decisions that don’t align with their understanding of diabetes, creating a feeling of being constantly judged at the table

Cultural identity and comfort:

• Cultural comfort food: Food traditions provide comfort – many feel that their meals are missing something if they don’t have staples (such as rice or noodles) in their meals

Some of my clients are so fearful in handling these situations that they would rather avoid any gathering. So many of them have shared that they have lost the joy of eating, affecting their emotional and mental health.

Understanding the Bigger Picture 💭

Food is Just One Aspect of Diabetes Management

It’s essential to remember that while food plays a crucial role in managing diabetes, it’s just one component of a holistic approach to health. The emphasis on food in Asian cultures can sometimes overshadow other important aspects of diabetes management, such as regular physical activity, proper medication management, stress reduction, and adequate sleep.

Many people with diabetes in Asian communities face added pressure because food is so central to cultural identity and social interaction. This can lead to feelings of isolation, guilt, or failure when trying to make necessary dietary changes.

Breaking the Cycle of Food-Related Stress

The stress associated with navigating cultural food traditions while managing diabetes can create a counterproductive cycle:

1. Stress about food choices
2. Anxiety at social gatherings
3. Shame about the condition
4. Avoiding healthy choices at social events
5. Elevated blood sugar levels
6. Feelings of failure or guilt
7. More stress, anxiety and shame

Breaking this cycle requires not just practical food strategies, but also addressing the emotional and cultural aspects of eating. This means finding ways to honor traditions while prioritizing health, and developing communication skills to navigate difficult food situations with family, friends, and colleagues.

Why This Matters 🌟

Finding balance between cultural food traditions and diabetes management isn’t just about blood sugar numbers—it’s about quality of life. It’s about being able to participate fully in cultural celebrations, maintain important connections, and preserve traditions while taking care of your health.

In my next blog post, I’ll share specific strategies for navigating family gatherings and social events, responding to food-pushing with grace, and finding new ways to connect with your cultural heritage while managing your blood sugar effectively.

Next Steps 🧭

If you’re struggling with balancing cultural food traditions and diabetes management, you’re not alone. Here are some ways to start addressing this challenge:

1. Reflect on your specific challenges: Which aspects of cultural dining situations are most difficult for you?
2. Consider your priorities: What cultural food traditions are most important to you to preserve?
3. Join our FREE 8-Day Diabetes Transformation Challenge
   • Learn practical strategies that honor your cultural traditions
   • Build sustainable healthy habits
   • Get daily tips and action steps delivered to your inbox
4. Book a Complimentary Strategy Call
   • Discuss your specific family food situations
   • Get personalized recommendations
   • Learn about available support options

👋 Hi! I’m Karen Lau, a Registered Dietitian and Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist with over 15 years of experience helping Asian Americans manage diabetes while honoring their cultural traditions. Want to work together? Book a free strategy call or join our community.

Note: This guide provides general education based on current medical guidelines. Always consult your healthcare team for personalized medical advice.